PJFilth's Rad Blog.

Too much emphasis on trivial bullshit.

I care WAY too much about what others listen to. I care WAYY too much about my hair being long and excellent. I care too much about being different.

I had a life changing revelation.
Friday night. I went out to dinner with my mother, and NO idea how this came up - but I'm glad I did.

I told her "Mom, I have no expectations, real goals, or standards of life really. Even if I got a job making a ton of money after college, I'm still going to live in a shitty one bedroom apartment downtown, and drive a shitty car that may or may not break down daily."

It was the beginning of the cleansing.

Saturday I realized the reason I am who I am - a shy piece of garbage that can't EVER express himself - who lives in a fucking fantasy world, where NOTHING was reality - it was all based on the music I listen to. This entire new world of music I discovered directly after high school contributes to the mute asshole that I am today. In high school, it was punk. Nothing else. I haven't really gave high school thought in years - because it was always a joke to me. Thinking back, I was INSANELY outgoing - I was always hyper, and had a shit ton of friends. I LOVED being around new people, and met friends on a constant basis. When I left high school - the punk left. I retired my NOFX and Descendants albums and picked up My Bloody Valentine and Joy Division albums. It unconsciously molded me for 6 years - creating the failure that I am today.

Sunday, I deleted 4000 songs from my PC / Ipod - and destroyed handfuls of CD's that made me feel like garbage - and went digging(took forever) for the shit loads of punk albums that have been sitting alone for far too long.

It's a rebirth.

Monday, I caught up on TONS of albums from bands that I used to love years back.

Tuesday(today) - hopefully getting all this bullshit hair cut off. I'm SO tempted to do it myself - but I'll butcher it for sure.



I truly feel like I've been born again.
Fuck you, I'm awesome.